I hit the submit button a little too soon...

I don't know if my friends know this, but to me, friendship is priceless. I am very honored to call Damian a friend of my own, for the same reasons he calls me his friend, and then some.

No pun intended.

Today in speech class, we had to give a special-occasion speech. This speech could have been a eulogy, a toast, a farewell speech, etc. I asked my one friend what he was giving his speech on, and he told me he was going to do it as a toast to Thomas Edison. When it came his turn to get up and speak, he started out by talking about friends, and how much they were worth to him. He then went on to describe a great friend of his own. He described the person's personality, then went on to describe their physical appearance. When he said "I make three of him, but my size doesn't intimidate him", I realized he was describing me. He then walked back to the back of the room, where I was sitting, and said "Mr. Garrison, it is a pleasure to consider you a friend of mine", and he shook my hand. He then went on to say something about me being his best friend...

WOW.

I was going to go after him, but that really messed up my train of though. I had no idea that anyone had really looked to me in that way, but now that I know that Damian does, I am very flattered. I disagree with the Latin saying, "Flattery is the worst of all enemies", because when it is truthful flattery, it means the world.

In the recent months, many companies have been outsourcing their work to third-world countries. Their reasons are all "because they work cheaper". Given the fact that I was born in the United States, the work was here when I started getting my education, and I got my education here, I fully expect those jobs to still be here after I get my education.

I have no problem with other countries trying to improve their economy, but think about it. The United States' economy has been in very poor condition since the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center in New York. Hell, even before that, I witnessed several factories in my home town close their doors and move to Mexico... Why? Heh.. It's cheaper.

What I don't get about that, is that the number of migrant workers in the state of Indiana has grown exponentially. I would have no problem with them if they were here LEGALLY, but for the most part they are not. It doesn't make sense though; the work from this area has moved to Mexico, but the Mexicans are all moving here? WTF?!

Back off that rant and on to the outsourcing problem. I don't know what the corporate executives have in mind, but they're killing their own economy by taking the work away from the Americans and giving it to India, Russia, Mexico, and so on. Imagine what will happen next...

News Headline: July 7, 2010 In a recent move by the United States government, all farming production in the United States has ceased. Due to a new bill signed by Congress, all farming activity will now be handled by INSERT THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY NAME HERE.

Bye bye, United States economy. Your leaders don't love you anymore. Oh, and to all you people heading for the job market, you had better start packing your bags and get ready to move to Russia. All your work has gone there.

Last night, BJ wanted to talk to me, to see what's been wrong with me lately, so I told him. I told him that I've been getting screwed around in nearly every way imaginable, and that I'm to the point that I just don't care anymore. After me explaining it to him in detail, he had no response other than, "Yeah, you have been getting screwed over pretty bad..."

To satisfy my curiousity, I asked him if I was like this when he met me 2 years ago. He said, "Biiiig negative."

I wonder if other people have been seeing this change in attitude. I try to cover it up around most people, so I don't bring them down, but it's quite hard.

BJ: You're not a real person youre...
Me: A transient!
BJ: (Stops the timer) WHAT?!

Don't talk too fast to me-slow-I wanna know
Share your philosophy before you go-I wanna know
If I knew better, I wouldn't wanna say
If I knew better, I wouldn't let the words feel this way
Cold, so cold, like I woke up on the street
But isn't that the payback for being indiscreet
If I knew better, I'd climb up on my ego like a child.
If I knew better, I'd knock down the flag
on your shoulder that's Swaying
If I knew better-I wouldn't change a thing
So don't you talk so fast to me, slow I wanna know

(Train - Swaying)

I am taking off work tomorrow because I have that stupid C++ homework to get done. In a way I'm looking forward to it, in another way I'm not.

I need the break though. As far as I know, that's all I have to get done this week.

(22:33:46) Tim: ya know...
(22:33:54) Tim: it'd be cool to experience a minor earthquake
(22:34:12) macguy: even cooler to not die in  a gigantic one
(22:34:20) Tim: well, yeah

Every night at about 10:00, the temperature in this house goes up about 15 degrees. I am getting quite sick of it.

People have been asking me code-related questions all day. I haven't understood a single one of them. I must be getting really burned out, because I used to know all the answers, but now I can't remember a simple thing, like what a dynamic array is.

I've almost gotten myself caught up with my school work. I have 2 labs to do for CIS203, a project to do for CIS221(Crap, I forgot about that one), and a speech to finish writing. On top of it all, I have been feeling sick, depressed, confused, etc.

I think this is the first I've posted in this category. So yeah, CIS203 still sucks. Although, I have gotten a decent project done to add to my portfolio. You can find it here. Don't laugh at the tutorial, and I already know that it sucks having to enter your info for every order, and that you can't delete items from your basket, and that you can't print out a final report of your order. Aside from the sucky tutorial, I did it almost exactly as the assignment was written. I've got some big plans for this project when I get more time though.

If I could show you how I feel, I would
If I could tell you how I feel, I would

If I could see how you feel, I would
If I could know how you feel, I would

If I could show you my love, I would
If I could show you my trust, I would

If I could show you my anger, I would
If I could show you my pain, I would

If I could hear from you "You're wrong", I would
If I could hear from you "I'm wrong", I would

If I could tell you "I'm sorry", I would
If I could hear from you "I'm sorry", I would

If I could go on with you, I would
If I could go on without you, I would

There's an empty place inside that is hurting me
A place that keeps my heart out on it's own
A disconnected function of my wretchedness
That keeps me so hard pressed
It's a place where words are spoken you
will never hear
A broken bridge of lines that just won't come
An empty lung that won't give the wind
to speak at me
How far can it be from home

Why you gotta be so mean to me
Why you gotta drag me down just to make me see
You know I don't listen good and I'm always in need
So why you gotta be so mean to me

(Tonic - Mean To Me) Think about it.

Curae leves loquuntur ingentes stupent

Someone notify my lawyer. I've been reading Evanescence's lyrics for the last hour, and they are pretty mush EXACTLY what I am thinking and feeling. I have a copyright on my thoughts and feelings, so they're in breach of US Copyright law.

Just kidding... It's just amazing to listen to a song, read the lyrics, and identify 100% with them. When you throw in a nearly flawless voice singing it, it adds a whole new dimension to it.