All day I have had to deal with bitchy people. No matter who it is, online or offline, I have gotten bitched at. I've tried to lighten the mood with jokes, and it just seems to make the situation worse.

So, to everyone that reads this:

EAT ME!

I've had just about enough of this world's bullshit for one day. I'll probably only stay awake for another hour or so.

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So today I got my first copy of Slackware Linux. I have to say, I am quite impressed with it.

There has been 1 issue that annoys the crap out of me, although I think it is related to a particular program, not the OS itself. Aside from that, I am quite pleased. :)

So lately I've been having these dreams. In the dreams is a girl. I don't know her age, what she looks like, or who she might be. I just know that in the dreams, I am in a very strong emotional bond with her, what some might call love.

Sigmund Freud would probably say that I am on the verge of a point in my life that will make me content, but I'm not so sure what it is. I don't know if it is that, or if there is really some girl that is right in front of me but I can't see.

Speculate how you wish, I'm just blogging it.

I have started this new job that requires me to supervise the laminating of catalogue pages. It is very tedious work, you have to make sure the pages dont twist as they enter the laminator or stop it when the feeder becomes jammed.

The fact that its from 10pm til 6am isnt the trouble, its the bike I am using to get there and back (btw the journey there is about 6-7miles).

Yesterday morning at 6.20am, im about five minutes from my house and the chain becomes all weird, there are rubbing noises. So I get off the bike and see that the wheel is loose. I have a spanner for such an emergency, loosen and then tighten the wheel, it still continues to do it. There must be something wrong so I get off it and walk it home which takes about 15minutes.

I get in and then go straight to bed. I awaken at 3pm and realise the bike will need to be repaired if I am wanting to use it tonight, so I get up and walk it down there. I book it in and im told it wont be ready til the next day........bugger. That means I will have to use this half-breed of a mountain bike that my mum likes call hers.....(it is a little girly and has a MASSIVE seat.)

So I leave for work and I see that the wheel is rubbing against the frame, I turn back and get my stepdad to have a look at it. He says "Ahhh....its ok, it just hasnt been used in a while thats all". This rubbing isnt that bad but I swear it was making my journey double what it was supposed to be. I get about 4 miles into the journey and I encounter this huge hill. I always make a point of riding the hill and so I get out of the seat and pump my legs to get this baby to the top.......and then.......CRASH..................TWANG.............SKID. The bloody wheel has bowed, its stuck and doesnt go round......fuck.

Luckily a mate lives close by and I head for his carrying the bike. I get there and ask if I can borrow a bike of theirs, no problem just have it back tomorrow.

The rest of the night is boring but I get home safely. I wake up to a torrent of abuse (bearing in mind ive only had 4-5 hours sleep) shouting how I could have broken two bikes in one day. I ignore them and go to pick up the bike from the repair shop..........£25 later the bike is fixed.....................TWENTY FIVE POUNDS?.......I needed a whole new wheel blahdy blah.

Moral of the story? Never ride your bike up Love Lane, Rayleigh.

Today, it was like 97° outside, and my mom claims that we can't afford to run the air conditioner. I have gotten fairly used to that...

Now, I have been playing CMR04 online quite a bit with my brother-in-law, and tonight I realized that I can't anymore until it is below 40° outside. Why? Because that game requires a lot of phyiscal movement in order to keep up, which develops heat, which develops sweat, which leads to a lack of ability to concentrate.

Add to it people calling, coming in my room, etc., while I am doing really well, and you have me coming in last in EVERY FRICKN' RACE!!

So yeah, I am pissed and quite warm.

So my brother-in-law and I were playing a rally racing game on the internet. When we got done racing, we decided to do a fun race, using out of the ordinary vehicles.

While we were getting set up, this jerk joined the race and was like "you are stupid" and so on. Then he proceded to say "you are fuck. american are pigs."

So, after reading his little rant about how the American government sucks, which I kinda agree with, I got to thinking about something...

Why is it people automatically assume that because a country does something wrong, that the country's residents, in general, are to blame for it? Why is it that because the US is currently in a war that they don't belong in, I am getting the shit end of the stick? I don't agree with the US being over there at all. I didn't from the beginning. Sure, in a sense it is defending our freedom, but not directly. There are more battles here at home that need to be fought first.

So, Regurgitator from Croatia, if you read this, I am not to blame for the screw-ups that the US government has made. Quit telling me that I am going to be "fuck" because of it. If you want to make a threat, I suggest you make it elsewhere.

Today I got my exam results from my university. I scored a 60.6 average with Programming and Networking being my highest modules. The mark itself is not a bad mark, its just the fact I know I can do better, there is a distinct lack of coordination on my course. The lecturers have no contact with each other so many times we are forced to learn what we have already learnt and then miss other parts of the syllabus.

I have to get an average of about 70% next year to get me a 1st class degree and I think thats well with my grasp, next year constitutes 80% of my overall mark.

Overall a satisfying feeling :)

Eh, it's a multi-purposes meter. :P

All in all, this has been a good day. :)

The Wrath-o-Meter (of Death):

This meter will show how pissed I am at life in general.

Edited "Futile" isn't the word I was looking for.

Another Edit This meter needed a spicier name.

This morning, on the way to Chicago, the song "More than a feeling" by Boston was on the radio. I was actually paying attention to the lyrics for a change, and I heard this:

When I’m tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away
She slipped away. she slipped away.

Then, not 5 minutes later, a vehicle went by. That vehicle had a vanity plate, with the chick's name on it that (I assume) was driving it. That name just happened to be the same as the one that "slipped away" in my life, the one that my mom keeps rubbing in my face.

I know, I should look her up and go out to dinner with her or something... Blah, blah, blah...

1. I already have, and she's not in this area anymore.
2. Even if she was, I highly doubt it would work out, because I would constantly be reminded of how I made the wrong decision.
3. I can't commit myself to a relationship that society has deemed the norm. I put my education first, and directly after that is my income, which is used to pay me way towards my education. The two go hand-in-hand, unfortunately.

One of these days I'm going to snap again, back into the "I don't give a fu*k" mode. I just wish it would hurry up and happen.

Back on track with the title of this entry though... How is it music can condem itself, but at the same time, bitch-slap me?

Proof I went to Chicago today.

Ok, so today, I had to ride with Mom and Dad to Chicago for Dad's disability appointment at the VA clinic, for some strange reason or another. We had to leave home at like 4:30AM to be up there by 8:00AM and beat the morning rush hour traffic.

We got back down to Kankakee at about 10:30 or 11:00, and Mom wanted to go ahead and stop for lunch. Thing is, I had been sleeping since about 111th street on the Dan Ryan. I woke up pretty much just as we were pulling into the parking space at Ryan's.

We went in, got our table, and got our food. I remember getting 2 salsbury steaks and a really huge piece of chicken, eating them, then going back for salad. The time between when I stood up to go get my salad and the next event is a total blur.

About 3/4 of the way through my salad, I realized that it was mostly cheese and ranch dressing, with a very little bit of lettuce, onion, and green pepper. I looked up at Dad and said, "I am evidently really tired. This salad is all cheese!"

That was the end of my meal. I slept the rest of the way home, and now I am wishing that ride home was a few hours longer, because I'm still really frickin' tired.

Click for larger view

You probably can't tell, but the second knuckle on my index finger is swollen. It is really stiff, and typing is far from easy.