(20:18:10) Alex: are you drunk?
(This was in response to sharing some entertaining archived entries while I was looking for a specific old entry while I was authoring the last entry. (And no, I'm not drunk.))
For the last couple of nights, I've not been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. There are a variety of causes for this, but the two that are most predominant are being sick and having someone on my mind.
Being sick really needs no discussion. You know it, I have that cold/flu/whatever that is going around this time of year. I've had it since Sunday, and it's not really any better today. As you will see here, I'm not taking any medicine, nor do I intend to.
Now, the other thing that's been keeping me up... You will see here that I have someone I need to be talking to. I've been needing to talk to her for quite some time, and I keep puting it off for various reasons, including shyness, apprehension, and laziness. I've come to the recent realisation that I need to put this procrastination to a stop and use the vocal chords that I've been given.
Among the thoughts I've been having, I'm mostly concerned with the outcome, both when I do share my feelings with her and if I don't. Being a programmer by nature, I tend to analyze things before they happen, and my analysis has been part of what is keeping me awake, while the other part has been the burning desire to actually take action on this.
The dream I had Saturday night hasn't helped me any. For the last several years, this matter has been on my mind. It's something I think about daily, and I wish I could change. But because I can't change what has happened, I'm trying to figure out how to start a new chapter and try it again. In the dream, I remember giving a little speech at the wedding reception. I told about how my new wife was someone who has been a friend for a long time, has always been there, and meant a lot to me. The setting of certain events in the dream have given a bit of indication as to who the wife was.
The dream has obviously left me a bit disturbed. Not necessarily "disturbed" in the sense that I'm terrified or upset. I just don't feel right. The dream was too real, too out of the ordinary, and too close to other dreams I've had about this particular female. I don't want to lose my chance at actually making something happen (verbalizing my feelings or whatever), but at the same time I'm not sure how to go about it, if I'm ready for a negative response, or whatever.
I guess I'll not be sleeping tonight either. This makes day #3.
I was reading some comments somewhere deep in an article on Slashdot, and I came across this link: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2706
Enjoy.
So the other night while I was sitting here watching TV, I saw an advertisement for eHarmony.com. I decided to fill out their little survey, number one-because I was bored, and number two-because I was curious what it would say about me.
Well, here's my personality profile that they gave me. Enjoy.
I decided the other day that I would much rather feel sick than feel doped up.
I took Benadryl all day Sunday and part of the day Monday, and the feeling it gave me was absolutely horrid! I can't stand an altered state of being, regardless of what causes it. Yes, even caffeine can fall into this category.
I admit, I'm a heavy drinker of carbonated beverages, specifically Dr. Pepper, but let me tell you something:
I can and have gone weeks without the stuff. I drink it because 1) I like the flavor, and 2) I like the fizz of carbonated drinks. If I could find Caffeine-Free Dr. Pepper in 1-Liter bottles around here (1-Liters have a different taste than any other packaging and I like that taste the best), I would glady drink it instead of the "leaded" stuff. Water is good in the summer time when it's really hot and humid outside, but Dr. Pepper is my favorite the rest of the time.
Now that I have established that point, I will stop drinking Dr. Pepper if I get even a slight "buzz" from it. I've had a full-blown caffeine buzz only once in my life, and it is not something I want to experience again.
I have been "high" from various shop-related chemicals, and I hate it. We use non-flammable brake and parts cleaner at work. I've had to clean the bulk storage tanks with it before, and I've been very loaded afterwards -- loaded to the point that I shouldn't drive, but have. I have seen colors that I didn't know existed. I have seen walls melt. I have heard my dog actually have a conversation with me. I HATE IT. That feeling is NOT a good feeling.
Taking medicine sucks because of the similar things the drugs do to me. The little span of time I was on the Benadryl, I was tired and had trouble moving, comprehending, or even talking. I don't like that. If I'm going to be any of those, it's going to be by natural causes, NOT drug-induced.
Yesterday, after I got off from work, I went to Wal-Mart to get some dog food and a package of "Day-Quil". That package of medicine is still sitting on the kitchen counter, un-opened. I'm still coughing, sneezing, aching, stuffy-head, struggling through my day, but I'm doing it knowing that I can still concentrate and form natural thoughts.
Cough drops? That's another story. The soothing feel from the menthol and what-have-you is something I can stand. They don't change my mind at all, like Benadryl and *-Quil.
So there you have it. Tim is not going to use drugs. If I have to have surgery or a doctor prescribes high-power pain killers, I'll think about taking them. Otherwise, I'm clean.
So tonight after work, I showed the new guy this site and the banner. Before I showed it to him, I said, "You need to see the banner. You'll be amazed at how much it looks like me."
Well, the first words out of his mouth when the site loaded were, "OH MY GOSH! THAT DOES LOOK LIKE YOU!"
I just thought I'd share that.
While talking with someone about how I feel towards someone else (names omitted for the time being), I basically came to a point with no conclusion.
The person I was talking to asked me what was holding me back - what I was afraid of. My response was this:
"Rejection, mockery, and exploitation."
The response they gave me was that rejection and exploitation are normal, everyday things, and that mockery is just a fool's way of gaining recognition for the degradation of others.
Now, I can't but help think something that isn't very respectful to anyone, but how can you not worry about such things when you're surrounded by such fools? It's human nature to take advantage of the weakness of others to promote yourself.
Also, what good is there in sharing such a thing with someone when you know you won't see them very often, if at all, and that they live a fairly long distance away? Long distance relationships haven't worked for me, and I'm not sure if they would.
I suppose I just need to bite the bullet and explain myself before I lose the chance to, but I really have no motivation to. It's sad, and disturbing, and makes me look like a coward, but oh well. Hi, I'm Tim.
I woke up yesterday morning with my sinuses feeling absolutely packed. As the morning progressed, my nose started running and didn't stop.
I had Mom and Dad pick me up some Benadryl while they were out getting groceries, and thus spent the rest of new years day sleeping.
I took the last dose of it around 7PM last night, and went the rest of the night without it. About the only difference was I had to get up every 2 hours to go blow my nose. Other than that, I slept like a rock.
I figure that I probably picked this up from work. This is really the first time in almost 5 years I've gotten sick like this. The boss dude's son had it to begin with, then the boss dude had it, then big dude had it, then friend dude had it, and now I have it.
One thing about being sick and taking medicine is that your dreams are very vivid at times. Last night I had a dream that I got married. Whoever I married didn't look like anyone I know. Also, as a part of that same dream, my primary method of transportation around town was my feet -- I was a runner.
I think I'm going to go take some medicine and pass out now. I need to get better before tomorrow when I go back to work.
It's not even 2006 yet and I am giving up on my new year's resolution.
I took the time a couple days ago to download a more recent, although not most recent, version of my favorite Linux distro, Slackware. It took 2 days to download version 10.1's disks 1 and 2.
After burning the images to CD's and installing it, I made the attempt to configure the system.
Step 1: Video I jumped over to the NVidia site and grabbed the most recent installer for their Linux drivers. The new installer features an auto-update for the xorg.conf file, so it was virtually painless.
Step 2: Mouse This is where I had a bit more problems... The mouse I have is the Logitech MX510 - a 7 button wheel mouse. The xorgconfig utillity detected it as a standard PS/2 mouse, and created the entries in the xorg.conf appropriately.
I knew that this would be a bit of a hassle, so I headed right for the search engine I hate but use every day. It took me a while, but I finally noticed that this mouse uses the ExplorerPS/2 protocol. This is the key to making the whole thing work.
Step 3: Audio HA! The Advanced Linux Sound Architecture(or however it's spelled) (ALSA) is a big pile of steaming dog poo. Not to mention KDE's x-based sound mixers and volume controls don't work worth a flying crap.
At this point, I am giving up. Trivial daily tasks such as changing the volume of the "Line In" input on the sound card, disabling the annoying "BLEEP!" whenever I am at the beginning/end of a line/file/road/galaxy, and just making my system USABLE are not as easy as they should be.
I will continue to try new distros and versions as they are released, but for now I stand firm on my opinion that Linux is the only choice for a server, but shouldn't even be considered for a workstation at this point.
If you use Windows XP, regardless of patches and service packs, read this right now:
Summary Security Focus has published information of an unpatched flaw in the way Windows handles Windows MetaFile (WMF) images.
WMF images can be used in web development, which increases this threat. The images are supported by both Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox.
Possible Methods of Exploitation
- Web Browsing
- Peer-to-Peer (P2P)
- Instant Messaging
Signs of Exploitation
- Desktop wallpaper changed to a rather large warning message
- Small red "X" icon in the system tray area (by the clock on the taskbar)
- Presence of increased network activity, unusual processes, etc.
References F-Secure Sunbelt BLOG Security Focus
Additional Notes While it appears as though all reports indicated that the infected machines had the Google Desktop Search installed, this vulnerability exists in Windows, not Google Desktop Search.
If you are in the Rensselaer area and need help squashing this bug on your computer, jump over to my contact form and get in touch with me.
Okay, so the other day, prior to Christmas, before I left for work, my mom asked me if I was up walking around late in the night. I told her that I wasn't, and that I thought she was. Nothing more was discussed.
Christmas eve, I took a picture of our tree and sent it to my boss. In the picture was a flash of light, almost like a reflection, where there was nothing reflective. I'll post the picture later.
Today I got a new MP3/CD player for my truck. I just went to try it out. I picked up a CD that was laying on the floorboard and put it in. The song that played was Stabbing Westward's "Why Are You Haunting Me?". I came back inside and that song just happened to be playing on my computer, which was left on shuffle for the 20 minutes I was away.
(Insert manic laughter here.)
Yeah right! A new year's resolution? Me? Pffft....
All but 1 Christmas gift has been purchased and is here in my room. I will get that gift sometime tomorrow, once I figure out where to get it from.
Also, my toe is acting up again. I figured out why: It's the stupid waterproof work boots I got over 6 years ago. They apparently have some sort of micro-bacteria living in them, which has found its way to my big toe for the second time this year.
One last note: There was a Jeep Cherokee sitting outside the bowling alley when I left the bank tonight. On the left quarter window, it said "i pwn". That just doesn't fit this town any more than I do.
(18:56:37) Jenn: d00d, is your blog down?
(18:56:43) Tim: probably
(18:56:43) Jenn
Registered through: GoDaddy.com Domain Name: SKUDD.COM Created on: 14-Dec-03 Expires on: 14-Dec-05 Last Updated on: 12-Sep-04
(19:03:18) Jenn: doh >_< (19:03:30) Tim: i just did a 4-year renewal on it (19:04:00) Jenn: nice
Has anyone noticed that the Geico gecko doesn't have the same voice as he used to?