I just got home from my best friend's wedding. I'm pretty stoked that they finally got married, and I have a feeling they'll be really happy.
It's kinda a wake-up call for me, though. I mean, I'm 24 (I actually had to use some math to figure that out!) years old, working for less than $10 an hour, still living with my parents, and single.
Before I go any further, let me say that I love my parents to death, and I am very grateful that they are providing housing for me. However, I am old enough and educated enough that I should be earning enough to pay for my own place. Plus, there are things about living on your own that I need to take part in, such as privacy.
But the being single part has been weighing on me a lot in the last couple months. I've seen several people that I grew up with get married, and even their younger siblings, yet I am beginning to wonder if I'm even going to get near being married.
First off, I am seriously overworked. I love my job, yes, but I have no "me time". Even on a holiday weekend, 3 hours from home, my cell phone would ring (at minimum) once an hour, and it would be someone from work. I come home and spend my evening hours working on stuff for work, rather than relaxing. I understand that I'm the manager and that I play a pretty important role in the business, but when I clock out and go home, and the shop doors are closed and locked, I need to be able to forget about work.
Second, because of the first point, I lack social skills. No, I don't have a problem talking to people. I don't quiver in fear when a girl says "Hi" to me. What I do dread, though, is the "small talk" crap. At the wedding reception this evening, I sat at a table with 2 other socially inept individuals, and it was very quiet and uncomfortable. I don't want to be that way anymore.
And third, this geographical area sucks balls. I know of very few girls around here who are non-alcoholic, non-smoker, non-whores. Blunt statement, but very true. Being that there's only 5,000 people in this town, my "pickin's" are slim.
Last month, I did some computer work and earned about $60 cash. I decided to go ahead and pay for a month of eHarmony with the money I earned, even though I said here that I probably wouldn't. I did get a few matches, yes, but only 1 out of about 30 has been positive. Because of that, I'm not so keen on spending the money for additional months of "service".
I'm looking at possibly changing jobs in the next couple months, which would require me to move north of here, near more people. If such a thing happens, I'll have a much better chance of meeting new people. Until then, I'm stuck.
I need to do something about it though. I'm starting to get really depressed.