So just now, in my bit of boredom, I decided to write a little code for something I've needed for quite a while: A file upload/download center.

I didn't get much more than the file directory [somewhat] created, and I realized something: It wasn't fun!

I used to code for fun. I used to code because I enjoyed it. I used to code because I liked to see things evolve from beginning to end.

Many things have happened that have soured me on the concept of coding:

First off, I've wasted the last 6 years of my life, trying to get into the computing industry, specifically the programming industry, by going to school, working on my own projects, doing a bit of freelance work, and interview after interview after interview. Now, I am stuck on what I started learning about 4 years ago, and I have gone nowhere. The languages I started with are now outdated and are scarcely used, the concepts are old and bulky, and nearly every that I would need to code today has been done and done well!

Second, I've had to go back into the field I tried to get away from: Automotive. Working on cars used to be a hobby for me, and it was fun. Then I started working on cars as my day job, and it got dull in a hurry. I've done almost anything you can imagine when it comes to working on a car (within financial reason), and there really is nothing new to me. Plus, a few things happened in that employment position that left a sour taste in my mouth and my back hurting forever. I went to school, I studied, I graduated with honors, and I had hope. That hope was all shattered when I saw that the skills that I supposedly acquired from college were meaningless and insufficent. After making a solid attempt to go back to school, my financial situation took a turn that I didn't want, and I basically got told that I was not allowed to go back to school again for a long long time.

Third, I have been soured by nearly every web project I have even attempted to complete. The first one went to crap before it was finished, because of who I had to work with. The second one went dormant less than a month after I completed it, and I found out just the other day that they don't want it anymore. The third one has been sitting dormant since I got it done back in April. The fourth one has been sitting dormant since not long after that. The fifth one I tried ended up biting me in the rear. The sixth was okay, but is sitting dormant. The remaining ~5 aren't even done because of poor communication skills on the customers' part. I do have 1 that is waiting on me, but it's really hard to do anything when I have nothing to look forward to. Everything I've done in the past has been over-the-top, and ended up collecting dust.

The fourth reason I have for not wanting to code anymore is lack of motivation and energy. Since I've had to go back to the automotive field, I've been working upwards of 60 hours a week. By the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is work more.

So what would it take for me to want to start coding again? New territory, new projects, better pay, and more time to actually work on them. At this point in time, that's far from possible though.