I'm at the end of my rope.

Just last Saturday, I turned 23. Big deal, right? Wrong.

I'm still living at home with my parents, mainly because I've been trying to get my own business off the ground and rolling, just as I have been advised to do by friends and family, including my parents. But also, I've been living here because I'm supposed to be starting at Purdue University this fall to get by Bachelor's degree.

For the past 6 months, my mom has been on my case about being unemployed and living here for "free". I just took it with a grain of salt, because I knew that I was actually working and that I was building the groundwork for my future. Here lately, though, it's been getting to the point that I can't stand it anymore. What's it? The constant criticism.

Today, my dad and I were taking a break from the yard work, and he informed me that I need to get a job before June 1st, "or else". I don't know what this else clause is, but I don't really feel like finding out. At the same time, if I am to get a job with some other business, I'll have to let my business vanish into the shadows, thus, making it all a waste of time. I've gained no real-world experience as far as potential employers are concerned. I have no peers or co-workers for anyone to interview. All I have is 4 websites to show for my work, and they won't be around forever.

I think the decision I need to make is to go ahead and go work for someone else, but it's not exactly an easy decision to make. I have the last ~4 years to look back at. I have the customers I've worked so hard to obtain and please. If I go work for someone else, all that is washed down the drain.

There's also the bigger issue of the economy. I have a degree in the CIS field, as well as 4 years of "unofficial" experience in web development. I'm that guy that everyone, most likely including you, comes to with a computer-related question. I'm that guy that debugs the code for everyone. I'm that guy that people come to at the last minute asking for help with projects that are due for either work or school. What does that mean? NOT A DAMNED THING.

Just yesterday, I got a letter from a potential employer that received my resume for a "PC Tech" position. This position was nothing more than a helpdesk role. What'd the letter say?

"Thank you for your recent application for the PC Tech Position.

It was a difficult task sorting through the applications of so many qualified applicants and determining which were appropriate to interview. We regret that your qualifications did not appear to be a match with our needs at the present time."

Ooookay... I can't answer a phone and say, "You need to click Start, Settings, Control Panel, Double-click on Sounds and Multimedia..." Right. Chances are, I'm far more qualified for that position than the person that got the job. But can I prove that? NO! Why not? Because nobody wants to take the chance to see that I am.

Now, what does all this mean? Quite simple, actually. It means that I only have one choice: To go back to the blue-collar way of life, working in a factory, flipping hamburgers, or getting greasy in an auto shop of some sorts. No, there's nothing wrong with any of that, it's just that I've left that way of life to pursue a job that requires me to work smarter, not harder.

My biggest fear is this: I'll apply for a job, interview, get hired, inform them that I plan to attend college in the fall, and get told to leave and that I don't belong there. Or worse, I will get stuck in the job and never be able to go to school like I plan to.

I'm just at a point that I don't know what to do. Sure, it's not really fair that my parents have to pay for the roof over my head, the electricity that powers my computer, and the occasional food that fills my stomach. The thing is, though, that THEY are the #1 reason why I made an attempt at running my own business. It's not my fault that people don't want to pay the prices that I give them, even though they are already so low that I am slitting my own throat by quoting them those prices. And for the occasional ones that agree to the prices, well... I'm thankful for them, but 1 big job every 6 months just doesn't quite cut it.

In short, I'm damned either way. I've got 3 ropes tied around my torso, all pulling in opposing directions.