For the last 8 or so years, I have been dealing with a condition called aphasia. This comes and goes, and as such, it's classified as transient.

This condition presents itself in multiple ways:

• I could struggle to process sound, that is, make any sense of it
• I could struggle to comprehend written/typed words
• I could struggle to comprehend spoken words
• I could struggle to perform certain "basic" tasks
• I could struggle to get words out of my mouth (or fingers, if I'm typing)

These are just the most common ways I deal with it. There may be other times where it presents totally differently, though that's not happened frequently enough for me to remember off the top of my head.

For the people with whom I interact, this may appear as though I am being ignorant to what they have to say or want me to do. With my work, I do a lot of text-based communication, and in those situations I often have to request for people to rephrase what they say. If I'm having a phone call or face-to-face conversation with someone, I will hear the sounds they are emitting, but my brain fails to process them as words. This often results in me asking the other person to slowly restate whatever they had just said.

While it is frustrating for everyone else, let me tell you how frustrating it is for me. It's like someone has bound my hands, put a blindfold on me, or stuffed rubber chickens in my ears. It's like I'm trapped inside my own head, much like that episode of "House" where Mos Def played the one guy who was trapped in his own head. For me, it's not as severe as what was portrayed in the TV show, but it's quite relatable for me.

When it comes to the struggle with basic tasks, the best example I can give is a time when I got up from my desk with the intention of going to the kitchen for a snack or drink. When I got to the door, it was closed and latched, and I stood there for 5 minutes trying to figure out how to open it. It's not a complicated task by any means, and I knew that at the time. I still got very angry though, because of how limited I felt.

If you ever interact with me and I tell you that I'm dealing with this aphasia, please grant me some grace and understanding. It's far worse for me than it is for you.